Women don’t need more women in leadership; they need more men who actually give a sh*t.
Every conference, every panel and every glossy CSR report parrots the same line: “We need more women in leadership.” While that’s true, it’s also lazy, because women don’t just need more women on boards, they need men who actually give a sh*t.
They need men who are willing to challenge the boys’ club, who don’t just sit back while yet another all-male executive team congratulates itself on appointing one woman as “proof of progress.” They need men who recognise that the system was built by us, for us, and therefore it’s on us to open the door wider, hold it open longer and make sure those voices are not only in the room but heard.
Too often, women are forced to work twice as hard just to be seen as equals in those rooms. I’ve witnessed it repeatedly: women having to be sharper, tougher, louder and even more prepared just to be taken seriously. Yet, when women are at the table, everything changes. Decisions get better, risks are seen earlier, blind spots are challenged and the culture genuinely shifts. Ultimately, the organisation wins.
Yet, despite the data, despite the endless business case studies proving that diverse leadership teams outperform, the excuses remain the same. “We can’t find the talent.” “They’re not quite ready.” “The pipeline isn’t strong enough.” Let’s be honest, those are just fig leaves for the truth: it’s easier for men to hire, promote and listen to people who look, act and think like them. Comfort beats courage and progress stalls until we start calling that out for what it is, nothing changes.
In coaching, I hear women say all the time that they only want a female coach. In fact, there are thousands of “women only” coaches out there. I get it; representation matters, safety matters and relatability matters. But if you only ever work with a female coach, you’re missing half the picture. Because, like it or not, men still dominate most boardrooms and executive teams, and I say that with a really heavy heart, but it is the reality despite the efforts of many to change this.
Sometimes the perspective you need isn’t just someone who understands you, it’s someone who understands the system you’re trying to break into, who has lived on the other side of it and who can show you how to dismantle it from within.
This isn’t about questioning the value of female coaches, far from it. It’s about broadening the lens. The most effective leaders I’ve coached, whether male or female, are those who deliberately put themselves in uncomfortable spaces, seek out challenges and learn from perspectives unlike their own. That’s where growth happens.
Leadership isn’t forged in echo chambers; it’s forged in friction, in difference and in being willing to see what you might not want to see.
The point here isn’t to pit men and women against each other. It’s to call out the reality that inclusion is not about headcount, it’s about action. It’s about men stepping up, women being given the space to lead on their own terms, and everyone recognising that diversity is not a “nice-to-have,” but a non-negotiable for performance, culture and the future of leadership.
So here’s the challenge:
If you’re a man in leadership, stop being comfortable. Start sponsoring, mentoring and advocating for women in a way that actually shifts the balance.
If you’re a woman, don’t box yourself into only seeking support from those who look like you. Sometimes the best way to crack the system is to work with someone who knows exactly how it was built.
The best leaders I’ve ever worked for were women. The legacy we should all be working toward is one where that’s not even worth saying out loud, because it’s just normal.
👉 I’d love to hear your perspective. Who has been the most influential leader in your career and why?
And if you’re ready to have the tough conversations that actually shift the balance, that’s the kind of work I do every day, so drop me a DM.
